A Surgeon is Born
On my path to discover what specialty I should choose, I did a lot of reflecting on my clinical experiences. This poem is a product of that reflection and is a glimpse into my emotional journey and decision to become a surgeon.
Beep Beep Blares the 4:00am alarm
Dragging out of bed, shaking off the sleep
First day jitters, unsure of what the day will bring
Horror stories of screaming and yelling and scalpels flying
Worried of making a wrong move…
touching something that shouldn’t be touched…
contaminating a sterile field…
Don’t say the wrong thing, don’t be a bad student
Take a deep breath
Mask on, eye protection too
Clean each nail, scrub each finger
Cold water flows fingers to elbows
Toweling off… left hand first… then right…
Gowning up, carefully gloving… right hand… then left…
Now spin and tie
Take your place, hands carefully placed on the table but out of the way
“Time out”
…Now here we go…
Scalpel, first incision, straight line down the sternum
Bovie and suction
All of a sudden the chest wide open
There it lies…
Lub dub lub dub
“Med student you’re up”
Jerk to attention
Questions start flying
What structure is this?
What rhythm is that?
Why am I doing this?
Why would I not do that?
answers surfacing from the tiniest recesses deep in the brain
Just keep breathing
Each question is answered
And abruptly they stop
Instead a command, put your hands here
A flutter that moves very slowly at first
Stronger and stronger with each and every beat
Cradled in hands a rhythm begins... lub dub lub dub
Life is returning… blood pumping through
A feeling within never quite felt before
Now quickly, hands back to work
Needle driver and pick-ups
Remember those knots
Closing the skin with every flick of the wrist
Faster… go faster… or soon they’ll wake up
Finished and rolling the bed out the door
“Congrats kid you did it” rings through the air
An inextinguishable LIGHT is GLOWING within
Later at home reflecting on the day
Still feel the beating and hear that lub dub
A smile starts to beam that will not go away
Reading material that wasn’t clearly known
Looking up papers, procedures, anatomy
Crawling into bed as sleep overcomes
That light is still glowing and smile still there
This is it… this is what I’ve been waiting to feel!
Beep beep chimes the 4:00am alarm
Jump out of bed, ready for the day
Excitement, anticipation for what will be seen today
Scrubbed and ready, suction in hand
Up for the challenge and ready to work
Long road ahead with large hills and wide valleys
The calling is there; if you listen you’ll feel it.
Whose Behind This Story
Alicia Taase is a fourth year medical student at the University of Arizona College of Medicine Phoenix, and is pursuing a certificate of distinction in Global Health. She is originally from Salt Lake City, Utah where she obtained her B.A. in Biology from the University of Utah. She is interested in Surgery with a specific interest in Cardiothoracic Surgery and Global Health. In her free time she enjoys spending time with family and friends as well as singing and traveling the world.